Jessica Weiner: "Walk Your Talk"

Bethanne Patrick, of AOL.com, interviews body image expert Jessica Weiner.

Bethanne Patrick: The things you are talking about: changing language, changing thoughts; these are things that mothers and teachers can use to help young girls and women develop healthy self-images. What are some of your tips for doing that with younger women?

Jessica Weiner: For every parent out there, every coach, every mentor, you've got to remember the number one rule is -- you have to 'walk your talk.' You have to model the behavior you wish to see in your children or your students. You have to be able to emulate what you are talking about, because that adds credibility. So many times I would hear, for instance, my mother say, 'It is not what matters on the outside. It matters what's on the inside.' Then I would look at her and she hated who she was on the inside.

Bethanne Patrick: And on the outside, maybe.

Jessica Weiner: On the outside too. I'm thinking, 'Well, wait a minute, if she is behaving like that, then why should I be any different.' So we really need to 'walk our talk.' Beyond that, we need to listen to girls differently than we have been. ... I am working with families who have 4 and 5-year-olds who want to go on a diet. That is learned behavior; that is a control issue...

This post really hits home for me since I am an elementary school teacher. It is so important to "walk the talk", as Jessica says. What good is it to discourage a young girl from criticizing her body when we are so harsh on our own? Kids are smart and they know when we are just paying lip service to positive body image. My mom spoke to me about a talk she recently heard from Gloria Steinem. Gloria said that when we speak about our bodies, we should picture a young girl listening. I don't have children of my own, but think about the kind of example I want to set for them when I do. I want them to have a mom who "walks her talk" and loves her own body, while encouraging her children to do the same.

Happy International No Diet Day!

International No Diet Day was founded by Mary Evans-Young, author of Diet Breaking: Having It All Without Having To Diet. She explains how it all began on Largesse: the Network for Size Acceptance.

"I started INDD in the spring of '92 following two things. The first was seeing a television programme where women were having their stomachs stapled. One woman had split the staples and was in for her third op[eration]. And then a young girl of 15 committed suicide because 'she couldn't cope being fat.' She was size 14 (12 in US). I decided somebody had to stand up and try to stop this bloody madness and in the absence of anybody else, I decided it would be me. So I sent out a press release titled 'Fat Woman Bites Back'...and got some media attention. I was desperate to keep the anti-diet/size acceptance concept in the public eye. So, without really thinking about it, at the end of a live TV interview I said, 'Don't forget to celebrate No Diet Day.' ...Having declared it on prime time national TV I then set about organising a picnic in Hyde Park. Alas it rained, so we adjourned to my living room instead."

Here are Top 10 Reasons to Give Up Dieting:

10. DIETS DON'T WORK. Even if you lose weight, you will probably gain it all back, and you might gain back more than you lost.
9. DIETS ARE EXPENSIVE. If you didn't buy special diet products, you could save enough to get new clothes, which would improve your outlook right now.
8. DIETS ARE BORING. People on diets talk and think about food and practically nothing else. There's a lot more to life.
7. DIETS DON'T NECESSARILY IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH. Like the weight loss, health improvement is temporary. Dieting can actually cause health problems.
6. DIETS DON'T MAKE YOU BEAUTIFUL. Very few people will ever look like models. Glamour is a look, not a size. You don't have to be thin to be attractive.
5. DIETS ARE NOT SEXY. If you want to be more attractive, take care of your body and your appearance. Feeling healthy makes you look your best.
4. DIETS CAN TURN INTO EATING DISORDERS. The obsession to be thin can lead to anorexia, bulimia, bingeing, and compulsive exercising.
3. DIETS CAN MAKE YOU AFRAID OF FOOD. Food nourishes and comforts us, and gives us pleasure. Dieting can make food seem like your enemy, and can deprive you of all the positive things about food.
2. DIETS CAN ROB YOU OF ENERGY. If you want to lead a full and active life, you need good nutrition, and enough food to meet your body's needs.

And the number one reason to give up dieting:
1. Learning to love and accept yourself just as you are will give you self-confidence, better health, and a sense of well-being that will last a lifetime.

WWJD-What Would Jess Do?

I'm extra excited to report that my blog has been featured on the home page of famous body image actionist, Jessica Weiner. Check out the homepage of her blog and the homepage of her website. She is a great role model and as cheesy as it sounds, when I'm feeling blue about my body I think about what she would do. I like that she takes care of herself and has let herself go.

She is an inspiring author and I hope you snag a couple of her books from our store.
Do I Look Fat in This?
A Very Hungry Girl
Life Doesn't Begin 5 Pounds From Now

The Office Threesome

Kelly Kapoor, brilliantly portrayed by the lovely and luscious Mindy Kaling, has 2 guys to juggle at The Office. Who do you think Kelly should be with, Ryan or Darryl? I love how she's completely psycho with Ryan, but I also like how Darryl doesn't take any crap from her. This season will be so exciting!

What Kind of Game Are You Playing?

I wonder how close Mindy Kaling is to her character Kelly Kapoor? Kaling must have had friends who were like Kelly because she does such a good job with her character. Bring the crazy, Kelly.

Love in the Cubicle

I wish Kelly (played by Non-Dieter of Note Mindy Kaling) and Ryan, from The Office, would get back together. I think Darryl is trying to tame her and I like that she is full on crazy with Ryan. Is she just trying to make Ryan jealous? Who would she choose if it came down to it? I love that a normal sized, not dieting woman is on such a popular show.

Mindy Kaling

I just googled Mindy Kaling + dieting and didn't find anything about her commenting on her diet. Awesome.

Who Is Jessica Weiner?

Find out more about Jessica Weiner by reading her bio on her website.

What was life as a teen girl like for you?
I definitely struggled with low self-esteem and bad body image. I didn’t ever think I was pretty enough or thin enough and I let that rule my teen life. Even though I was a super over achiever and getting good grades and involved in school stuff - inside I was pretty depressed and withdrawn. I began dieting when I was 11 and fell into an eating disorder around 13. So I spent many years of my teen life really battling this tough mental health issue.

There’s really nothing you can’t do is there? Author, screenwriter, agony aunt, businesswoman - where did you get this go-for-it girl ‘tude from and more importantly, how do we get it?
Well, I think my ‘tude comes from my family and friends - they’ve always helped me to feel confident in exactly who I am! I also have survived a period in my early teens where I was the complete opposite of who I am now and so I am thrilled to be able to share that excitement and passion with others. And I think YOU guys can get this attitude by finding something you are super passionate about and going after it - whether it is body image, or the environment, or playing soccer - do something you love and it never feels like work - always fun!

You define the word “fat” as “F-A-T = Feelings. Actions. Thoughts.” What does this mean?
All women - no matter what their size - use the word fat. And clearly many of these women aren’t fat by clinical terms - so it had me go searching for more of a meaning when a woman uses this word to describe how she is feeling. So I broke it down into feelings-thoughts-actions. Because we are so scared of our feelings that sometimes we just lump them into one category of ‘bad’ like the word ‘fat. And when we have all of these negative feelings they become negative thoughts in our mind and those negative thoughts can become negative actions - like extreme dieting or eating disorders. So we have to be careful how we use our feelings, thoughts, and actions and remember that fat is not a feeling!

Interview from Pink World

Jessica Weiner Is The Boss Of Me

Jessica Weiner is my new favorite. She is featured on the Dove Website as a self-esteem columnist. You may also recognize her from the Tyra Banks Show. If you're interested in more of her books, please click on our store in the top left corner of this website. Thanks!

Size Sixteen and A Beauty Queen

Miss England hopeful, Chloe Marshall, has made it to the finals!
She is 5' 10" and weighs 176 lbs.

Chloe on her positive body image:
"People seem desperate to get me to say that I don't, that deep down I'm not happy and would rather be thin, but the fact is I wouldn't change myself at all."

Chloe on fitness:
"I'm a size 16, I eat well, I exercise regularly – I jog, swim, and work out with weights. "

Chloe on her reasons for entering the contest:
"What I am promoting is a healthy girl who looks after herself and doesn't try to force her body to be something its not."

"I want to show it is possible to be beautiful and not a standard size zero."

Source

Work Your Chub

Miss England finalist, Chloe Marshall, models the "official" bikini that all contestants must wear. Classy! I think Chloe should have a Pretty In Pink moment and redesign that hideous bikini into something that makes her look even more gorgeous than she already is.

Nigella Lawson Hearts Carbs

Okay, I promise this will be my last Lawson post for awhile. I was looking for a video from her recent show on the Food Network and found this gem. She is making donut french toast!! My favorite thing about her shows is the "slice of life" feeling the writers try to convey. Oh look, Nigella is having a restless night's sleep and spur of the moment decides to make a delicious midnight snack. How real.

Nigella Lawson Goes On A Diet?

Thankfully, the picture on the right is the old one. Reports have surfaced that Lawson recently hired a personal trainer, according to the Daily Mail. This has created a bit of backlash for the epitome of size acceptance. Comments posted on blogs by angry readers who think that Lawson is a hypocrite make me cringe.

I think it's great that she is taking an interest in physical fitness. I believe not dieting is healthy and physical fitness is healthy. Maybe she is getting a trainer to be healthier, or maybe it's because of outside pressure to slim down. I hope it's the former, but most of all I hope she is still not dieting.

The Food Network Upset About Nigella Lawson's Weight Gain

According to New York Post, head honchos from The Food Network have been less than complacent about Nigella's alleged weight gain. “Her director is now doing back flips to not show her below the waist, and deflects viewer vision by focusing on her cleavage/tongue/eyes more than ever,” claims an unidentified insider.

“In my experience, the weight thing is an almost totally female problem. I never feel bad about my weight around men, only women. Women act like it is somehow a moral failing to have hips," Lawson confides in an interview for TimesOnline.

Lawson goes on to say, “Everyone is so critical. All must be sacrificed to the great god of skinny. You must say no to everything. Life has to be pretty fabulous, surely, if you can afford to turn down occasions of pleasure?”

“I think it is a fear of flesh, maybe of vulnerability and softness," theorizes Lawson. I think she is on to something. I wonder if the reason we have become afraid of being soft and vulnerable is because women fought for so long to be taken seriously. Now that we are in a greater position of power, we feel that we must keep up a hard, controlled exterior to maintain our spot. Our bodies have to reflect an image of discipline and determination in order to be taken seriously. What do you think?

Crystal Renn Models for Evans

Check out Evans for some really great clothes that start at size 10.

Haley Atwell Entices Ewan McGregor

Watch Ewan McGregor drool all over non-dieter, Haley Atwell in Cassandra's Dream.

Benjamin Franklin Is My Homeboy

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."
-Benjamin Franklin

Remember this the next time y0u want to go on another diet.

Emma Thompson Rescues Haley Atwell

During the filming of Brideshead Revisited, Emma Thompson invited ingenue Haley Atwell over for dinner. Thompson asked why Atwell was picking at her food and Haley admitted she was on a diet because the producers told her to lose some weight.

"I went round to Emma's one night and she was getting very angry that I wasn't eating all the food she was giving me. I told her why and she hit the roof," says Atwell.

Thompson was so upset that she immediately contacted the producers and said she would quit unless they agreed to rescind their request that Atwell shrink a few sizes.

This is not the first time Thompson has intervened with the diet of a young starlet. During the filming of Sense and Sensibility, Thompson noticed Kate Winslet was struggling with poor body image and dieting to extremes. Winslet later told reporters that Thompson intervened and had a heart to heart with Winslet about body image and Hollywood. Apparently, the conversation worked because now Winslet is so anti-diet that she will sue your ass if you write that she's on one!

Jenna-licious

I'm still reeling from last night's episode of Girlicious. My favorite Girlicious contestant, Jenna, got booted off the show. Last night, Jenna decided to make the best snack I've ever seen: Chex cereal, powdered sugar, melted chocolate, and peanut butter. She made this huge bowl of it and all the other girls were dying. They kept making snippy comments about how she wasn't on a diet.

Jenna was one of two plus sized contestants on the show this season. The other one was voted off a while back. Jenna had a great voice, but was laaaaazy. She moved on the stage like a turtle, and I loved her for it. She was the opposite of all those hyper, skinny, adderall taking, crazies bopping around.

Fast forward to 0:54 to see Jenna in action!

Love the Dramz

I will miss Jenna...Remember when she showed up for rehearsal in a wheelchair and almost bit the dust when it bumped into the stage? Classic.