Full Disclosure

I was reviewing some of my older posts and there are a few things I want to come clean on. My previous post will be italicized and my current comments will be in print. Here it goes...

I have been dieting for most of my life, despite the fact I have never had a weight problem.
This part is true. I began dieting in middle school and now I'm 28. When I began dieting, I was thin. I don't know what I am now...depends on who you ask. I feel "average".

My dieting started out of adolescent insecurity and then became habit.
There was a lot more going on than adolescent insecurity during my middle school years. I had various traumatic events in my life which I'm not comfortable sharing now, but I may do so at a later date. Dieting in middle school led to anorexia in high school, which led to overeating in college.

Like most women, dieting has become such a natural part of my life that I feel completely crazed if I am not following a specific meal plan. I've reached a point in my life where I'm over it. If I'm going to gain 10 lbs from eating an extra cookie after dinner, then so be it. I'm sick of dieting!
This part is true. Learning to listen to my hunger and eat what I want is sometimes scary. Gaining a few extra pounds since I gave up dieting has not been easy. Part of me feels incredibly relieved to not count calories and the other part feels disappointed that I am a bit bigger.

I think I was secretly hoping I would lose weight by not dieting, but this has not been the case for me. I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise, since by dieting I was not listening to my hunger cues. Alas, there is no turning back for me. I will never diet again. I want to be honest with myself and listen to what my body is telling me it needs. Thanks to all the supportive emails and comments I have received, not dieting is a little less scary than it could be if I was doing it alone.
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